A year ago today I was huge. I was waddling all over the place, I was eating my weight in food (not really, but it felt like it), I couldn't sleep because of the pain I was in, and I was waiting, waiting waiting.
I remember that I wanted to get out, so Carrie took me out shopping. We shopped for make-up, groceries, dog food, and of course candy (that was my idea :). Little did I know what was going to happen later that night....
Earlier that week, Johnny came up with a bunch of things that he wanted to do in order to make me go into labor. I thought he was nuts...but in the end, it worked! Sara's due date was May 29th, which I thought was wrong and didn't make sense. Boy was I right!
Well anyway, on Monday Johnny and I went for a walk. We walked to the park where he pushed me on the swing (even though I didn't want to because I thought because of my weight I would snap the chains). Then later that evening, Johnny took me out to HuHot, the mongolian BBQ, and I made my meal extra spicy. We had to stop by Dairy Queen after, because thats what I was "craving". (truth is, I didn't really crave anything, I just thought of something I wanted really bad and pretended it was a craving:) Vanilla cherry dipped cone is what I always had.
Tuesday I hung around the house all day, laying on my left side to increase blood flow. My feet were so swollen they looked like giant marshmallows with toes. Sausage toes. I even had to buy purple crocs one size too big, because even my flip flops wouldn't slide onto my feet. I cooked chili for dinner, and made sure to add lots of cayenne pepper. We watched LOST while we ate dinner. And most nights usually ended with me taking two tylenol and laying in the tub for a while to ease my hip pain before snuggling up in bed with my many pillows.
Wednesday was a big day and I didn't even know it. I was at the point where it felt like this baby was never going to come. I knew for sure it would, but it felt like it would take forever. And knowing my luck, I thought for sure it would be like 3 weeks late!
Well today is the day that Carrie and I spent together all over Fort Collins and Loveland. I pretty much just followed (and by follow, I mean waddle like a penguin) Carrie wherever she needed to go. We made some stops that were requested by me, like to buy candy and Bath and Body Works. It was a really fun day, and I really needed to get out.
Well Johnny and I went to bed probably around 10-ish that night. I had already taken my tylenol and bath, and was fast asleep when suddenly I woke up around 11:45 p.m. I ran to the bathroom and sat on the can while trying to wake Johnny up. Finally he woke up, I told him what was going on, and he told me to call the doc. I was in denial, and even though I couldn't leave the toilet, I somehow still thought that my water hadn't broken. So I called, and the nice telephone nurse lady told me that we needed to come to the hospital to check things out. I didn't pack a bag, and even if I did, I wouldn't have brought it because I thought "for sure this can't be it!" It was 2 weeks before our little baby's due date!
So we got in the car and made our way to the hospital. After a few tests and a nurse checked me, she confirmed that my water had broken and I was in labor! It was definitely not what I expected because I wasn't in any pain, and of course I was still in denial. And I couldn't believe that in a few short hours I would get to meet this new love of my life that I had been waiting so long for!
They put me in a hospital gown, and gave me this giant pad to wear (which I thought was one of the most hilarious things I had ever seen...plus my friend Trish had already told me about them), and I got to lay down in my own room in a comfy bed. I had a tv on the wall with my name on it, literally, and nurses waiting on me hand and foot! Well I was still feeling pretty good at this point, and my contractions hadn't started, so I was told to try and get some sleep, and if nothing was moving along by 6 a.m. they would get things started.
So Johnny and I slept till about 5:45 in the morning when a nurse came in to see how I was doing. Still nothing...no contractions or anything. So far this was the easiest labor ever! Well the nurse got me hooked up on an IV and started me on petosin. Petosin is what makes your contractions start...and boy did they ever start!!! But before they did start, I had plenty of time to lay there and watch tv, and I even had a few visitors. Carrie and Mike, Grandma and Grandpa came to hang out with me while I waited for my medicine to kick in. Around 10-ish is when I really started to feel my contractions. They were coming stronger and stronger. It got to the point where I had to ask everyone (except Johnny) to leave the room, because the truth is, I couldn't stand hearing anybody talking anymore! Haha! I sat on an exercise ball for about 3 minutes before someone asked if I wanted to consider and epidural. Well, I didn't have a birth plan...I wasn't going to try to be super-woman...so I thought it might be nice to have one. But before I agreed to get one, I first asked the nurse, " When do normal people get an epidural? Am I being a wuss? Because I can wait a little longer. I'll wait if I need to. I don't want to be like those ladies that can't handle pain...cuz I can handle pain!" She smiled and told me that everyone gets them at different times, and assured me that I wasn't being a wuss. So they sat me up, stuck what I assume was a very long, thick needle in my back, and within no time I was feeling goooooood! I laid back down and even slept for a little while. This was around 11 a.m.
After sleeping for a little while, I woke up and had a little bit of pain. To tell you the truth, it felt like my body was trying to pee out a big bowling ball. I told the nurse and she told me it was time to push. Yikes!!! This was it!!! This was the part of 'A Baby Story' where I would change the channel. This is the part I couldn't stand to see...or hear. But now it was my turn, and there was no turning back! So I pushed with all my might for 30 minutes, and out popped our precious little girl. A GIRL! The moment I first saw her I burst into tears. This was my little girl. I looked over at Johnny, waiting for him to announce that we had a girl...but he just stood there stunned. Like a deer caught in the headlights. Later on he told me that he was just trying not to pass out after witnessing what had just happened. Haha!!!
I remember my girls first cry. I remember them placing her on my chest so I could hold her close and examine all her little details. Her little fingers were all there, her face was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, and she belonged to me. Secretly I had been hoping for a girl, and here she was! Her name had been picked out since I was a little girl. Little Sara. My precious little Sara. She is named after my great aunt Sara. What a precious and amazing lady she was. My heart was overflowing with love at this moment, but at the same time it hurt just a little bit. I was holding my new little Sara, wishing so bad that my great aunt was there to see her. I was overwhelmed with emotions.
I am so proud to have a daughter who is named after someone who was so dear to me. My tante Sara meant the world to me, and even after she is gone, her life still blesses me every day. The time that we spent together is so precious to me, and those memories will last forever. She was such an amazing woman of God, and I look forward to teaching my little Sara the way my great aunt taught me. Its just amazing the way God works.
So now I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes. But they are joyful tears! I am so blessed to have my little Sara, and I am so blessed to have known tante Sara. Her name is now being carried on by the most beautiful, sweet, cute, precious, funny, smart and amazing little girl I have ever known. I pray every day that she will love Jesus, serve Jesus, and be the most amazing woman of God. Now we are celebrating Sara's first year. This has been the most fun, confusing, joyful, overwhelming, amazing year of my life. I have learned so much about my baby, about God, about life, about Johnny, and about myself.
Thank you Jesus for every moment of this past year. You are amazing, Your love and your blessings are overwhelming, and through Sara You have showed me how beautiful life is.