Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Why did you say that, you idiot?! - Stupid pregnancy comments.

There is something about being pregnant that makes people think its ok to say anything they want to you. The sad thing is, what they say is usually pretty stupid.  Why is it that while you're going through the most wonderful, personal, emotional time in your life people feel the need to make you feel insecure?

If you are pregnant right now, or have been in the past, you will enjoy this post.  I am going to slam those dummies that say stupid things to us.  If you are not pregnant, take notes.  You don't want to be a dummy!   Here are a few things that I have had people say to me.  I am going to add responses....things that weren't said, but should have been said.  One, because its funny...two, because it feels good to get it out!

"Get ready to never sleep again!"  My first thought, "Oh my gosh...what have I gotten myself into?  This is going to be miserable!"  Truth: I have slept at least 9 hours a night since Sara was 8 weeks old...thank you very much you idiot.  What my response should have been, "Wow, thanks so much for the encouragement!  That is SO helpful to know!  That made me even more excited to be a mom...because right now I'm nervous, confused, anxious, and a little scared."  I find that if you have the right resources (On Becoming Babywise...worked wonders for us!), you'll be fine!  You'll appreciate the time that you get to spend with your little bundle of joy.

"You're life is going to change so much, you won't have a life anymore!"  My first thought, "Oh great...I'm not going to have any friends, I'm not going to have any fun, and I'm going to be such a loser!  My life is over!"  Truth: Life is just beginning...literally.  Sure, life changes, but it is the most wonderful, amazing change you could ever experience!  Having our precious Sara has helped us enjoy life even more than we ever did before.  We take time to focus on the little things and appreciate family time.  You get to be a kid all over again!  And there is something so special about being able to care for another little human being.  What my response should have been, "You must be a really sucky person if you're not having fun being a parent.  I'm sorry that you don't enjoy your wonderful kids that are blessings from the Lord.  I feel really sorry for you.  You're selfish.  By the way, thanks for the useless information."

Someone finds out I'm pregnant, and they say to someone else, "Boy am I glad I don't have to do that again!" right in front of me.  My first thought, "Just because she has been through it before, doesn't mean she has to be insensitive to someone who is going through it now.  Just because she has been through it before doesn't make it ok for her to say stupid things!  She must be bitter about being a mom!"  Truth:  Being pregnant is hard work.  Its the hardest job I've ever done.  Your body is not yours anymore, you experience strange things you've never experienced before, and you are emotional the whole time.  But it is such a wonderful job knowing what is going on inside of you.  Its not easy, but it can be really fun at times.  What my response should have been, "Do you not see me standing here?  Why the heck would you say that right in front of me?  Do you not remember what this is like?  I'm doing my best and you just made me feel like crap.  Thanks, you idiot!"

So there it is.  Forgive me for calling so many people idiots...I'm emotional. :)

So now for some encouragement, and advice from someone who finds being a parent a big blessing.  Enjoy being pregnant, and don't worry about your appearance.  It will change so much beyond your control, so I've learned that you just need to accept it and roll with it.  It is fun.  My new saying is, "These aren't stretch marks...they are tiger stripes.  Grrr!".  Be proud of what your body is able to are growing a human being inside of you!  Wow!!!
Having a child is the most amazing experience ever.  It can be challenging at times, but it just gets better and better.  With every stage comes different things, and each one is so much fun.  You didn't even know you could love another human being the way that you love your child.  They will bring so much joy to your life.  You have SO much to look forward to.  Don't listen to people who give you negative advice...obviously they don't remember what its like to be a new parent.

Children are a blessing from the Lord.  You have a tiny person being knit together in your womb by the Creator of the universe.  Enjoy this precious time.

Now go eat some ice cream!


  1. Love this post Marcy!!! I was a pretty miserable pregnant woman the first time but I would do it again in a heartbeat! I can't wait to be pregnant again! There is really nothing else like it! We who are able to carry and deliver children are the most blessed of all, it's too amazing to believe! I am so proud of my "tiger stripes" and my little boy! And I wish we could say these things to stupid people- if they are being rude I feel like I should be able to as well. Alas we take the high road...

  2. Thank you, Marcy! This is wonderfully said. The more you have the more insensitive the comments are here's a few I'm gotten/heard:
    1."Don't you know how that happens?" My thoughts were similar to yours in the second comments, what have I gotten into? My response should have've been, "Why yes I do. Do you need some help figuring it out?"
    2."Boy, you've got your hands full!" My response will now be: "Yes I do! Full of wonderful blessings from the the LORD."
    3. "Watch out where you point that thing!" Referring to my 9month pregnant stomach. This is the most incentive comment I've ever gotten from anyone to my face! I still don't know how to respond to this. Any ideas?

  3. Andi- This is totally not appropriate but I couldn't help but share...if someone tells you, "Watch out where you point that thing!", give them the finger and tell them, "I need more help knowing where to point this thing." BAHAHAHA!!!!!! Clever...

  4. Great post Marcy. I sometimes miss not being pregnant and feeling those little flutters again and the anticipation of the new arrival. But with that chapter closed I am excited for my next chapter which is enjoying my boys as they get older. But I have gotten some pretty crazy comments also while shopping with my 3 boys. Like " Wow you have your hands full". Yes I do have my hands full but I am loving every moment. Or " Wow 3 boys I feel sorry for you". Truth I am so thankfull to have 3 crazy,energetic, loud boys in my house that I can love forever and keep me young. And not once do i feel sorry for myself but feel incredibly blessed to have my 3 little monkeys. So thanks again for this post Marcy. Enjoy every moment of your pregnancy. Love Sylvia

  5. Thank you Marcy for posting this. I am entering that stage in life when many of my friends are having babies. Those who are not, are saying the very things you listed... it's good to hear true responses. Just remember, "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." Phil. 4:8(And don't think about the rest!)